Entitled Meaning: Causes, Effects, and How to Overcome It.
Entitlement is when a person believes they should get special treatment or extra benefits, no matter what the situation is. This attitude changes how they interact with others and view the world around them.
But why do some people feel entitled? Are these feelings sometimes hidden? Could experiences from tough times in their past make them feel this way? In this blog, we will explore these questions to help you understand what entitlement is and learn how to deal with it if it becomes a problem.
Introduction to Entitlement: An Excessive Expression of Needs - Complex Trauma Prisons (youtube.com)
Why Do People Feel Entitled?
Having a sense of entitlement can come from personal experiences and things we see around us. Here are some reasons why people might feel entitled:
Upbringing and Environment: If kids grow up always getting their way without learning limits, they might become entitled. When family members constantly give in to what the child wants, they may continue to grow up expecting the same treatment from others. This growing sense of entitlement in all kinds of situations can further cause unrealistic expectations from the child.
Lack of Personal Boundaries: People who never learned about healthy boundaries might believe that their needs should be met by others first, without considering mutual respect. This can lead to unrealistic ideas about what they deserve, leading to a development of negative emotions.
Social Influences: Society often praises success and personal achievements, which can encourage a sense of entitlement. Social media and other outlets often highlights people with wealth or fame. This can make some think they deserve similar recognition without putting in the same effort.
Low Self-Esteem: Sometimes, a sense of entitlement hides deeper issues like low self-esteem. People might demand special treatment to make up for feeling inadequate, trying to prove their worth to others.
Cultural Expectations: In some cultures, individual success may be valued over community well-being. This can lead to entitlement as people internalize the idea that they deserve more than others.
Misunderstanding Success: People might wrongly assume that others' success is due to luck or special treatment, rather than effort. This misunderstanding can foster feelings of entitlement.
Child with a sense of entitlement.
These experiences shape their expectations and beliefs about what people deserve in life. In short, a sense of entitlement can be influenced by how we were raised and what we see in our everyday lives.
Subconscious Feelings of Entitlement
Sometimes, entitled individuals don't even realize they feel entitled. Subconscious entitlement is often rooted in upbringing or influences found in society. Here are signs that you might have subconscious entitlement:
Unreasonable Expectations: You get frustrated easily when things don’t go your way. You expect others to meet your demands, even when they’re unrealistic.
Difficulty Compromising: You find it hard to cooperate or see others’ views, thinking your needs should always come first.
Jealousy Towards Others' Success: You feel resentful when others succeed causing you to lash out. You believe that you deserve the same or more recognition without understanding their efforts.
Desire for Instant Gratification: Expecting immediate results or rewards without patience for the process might indicate subconscious entitlement.
The Role of Complex Trauma
Trauma is someone’s response to a deeply scary or harmful event that makes them unable to cope. Complex Trauma is defined as the response to an ongoing environment of danger where one never feels safe. This response constantly signals a stress response such as fight, flight or freeze. It affects every aspect of a person - their bodies, relationships, brains and ability to have a spiritual connection. This type of trauma affects how people see themselves and others. Here’s how it can lead to feelings of entitlement:
Unmet Needs: People with complex trauma often have many unmet needs. As adults, they might feel that the world owes them something to make up for their past experiences that has left them feeling bad.
Coping Mechanism: For some, feeling entitled can be a way to cope with their trauma. They may seek special treatment to regain the control or attention they didn’t have during tough times.
Distorted Self-View: Complex Trauma can change how people view themselves. This can make them believe they are more important than they really are as a way to defend against feelings of inadequacy.
Attachment Issues: Complex Trauma can make it hard to form healthy relationships. This may lead to a need for excessive validation and special treatment from others to fill emotional gaps. What they are left with then is a series of toxic relationships.
Entitlement and Recovery from Complex Trauma
It's important to focus on your needs when healing from Complex Trauma as you will learn to build a genuine connection with yourself. But some people might express their needs too much, leading to entitlement. Here are ways to manage self-care without fostering entitlement:
Awareness: The first step is to notice any feelings of entitlement. Increase awareness by thinking about how your expectations affect your relationships and growth. Journaling or mindfulness can help with this.
Setting Healthy Boundaries: Learn the difference between healthy self-care and entitlement. Set boundaries that respect your needs and others'. Respect is crucial in any relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or casual friendship.
Practicing Empathy: Try to understand others’ views and recognize their needs as important too. This helps balance meeting your needs while respecting others, leading to healthier interactions.
Managing Expectations: Set realistic expectations for yourself and others. Know that not every want will be met, which helps avoid disappointment or resentment.
Seeking Support: Consider therapy or support groups. Professional help can uncover trauma-related entitlement and teach healthier ways to meet your needs. Sharing experiences with others can also provide insight.
Reflect on Gratitude: Regularly practice gratitude by appreciating what you have. Gratitude can shift focus from what’s lacking to what’s present, promoting contentment.
Long-term Effects of Entitlement
If it continues, entitlement can have long-lasting effects:
Relationship Strain: Entitlement can tire out family, friends, and coworkers, leading to conflicts and isolation. Others may grow weary of constant demands and a lack of give-and-take, causing a lack of boundaries.
Professional Challenges: At work, entitlement can cause trouble with colleagues or bosses. Those who feel entitled might struggle with teamwork or accepting feedback, holding back career progress.
Personal Dissatisfaction: Always expecting special treatment can lead to ongoing disappointment and unhappiness, as reality often falls short of high expectations.
Stuck Personal Growth: Entitlement can limit personal growth by closing off new experiences and viewpoints. Growth relies on seeing beyond yourself.
Legal or Financial Trouble: Entitlement might lead to risky behavior and potential legal or financial issues in extreme cases.
Overcoming Entitlement
Addressing entitlement needs constant self-examination and action. Here are steps to overcome it:
Mindfulness Practice: Use mindfulness techniques, like meditation, to increase self-awareness and curb impulsive entitlement moments. Mindfulness helps you stay in the present, improving empathy and understanding.
Journaling: Keep a journal to reflect on your interactions and expectations. Writing regularly can help spot patterns and triggers of entitlement, offering clarity and solutions.
Gratitude Practice: Focus on gratitude by consistently acknowledging what you have. Gratitude can shift focus from what's missing to what's present, fostering satisfaction.
Continuous Learning: Learn about entitlement and healthy emotional expression. Books, workshops, podcasts, or working with a mental health professional can provide new insights and tools for change.
Community Engagement: Volunteer or join community activities. Engaging with others, such as a safe person or mental health professional, can broaden your perspective and lessen self-centered thinking, creating a sense of connection.
Challenge Entitlement Thoughts: Actively question entitled thoughts and replace them with balanced views. Understand your value without diminishing others or claiming undue privileges.
Conclusion
Entitlement can have a negative impact on both personal and professional relationships. When someone feels they deserve special treatment, it can create tension with family, friends, and coworkers. To overcome entitlement, it's important to understand its origins, especially when it stems from complex trauma in one's past. This understanding can help individuals learn to express their needs in a healthier and more constructive way.
A key step in addressing entitlement is recognizing when it occurs. Often, people might not realize they have entitled behaviors, so self-awareness is crucial. Practicing empathy is also important, as it involves understanding and valuing other people's perspectives and needs. Developing empathy can improve how you interact with others and reduce feelings of entitlement.
Setting realistic expectations is another critical step. It's about balancing what you want with what is actually reasonable and achievable. When expectations are grounded in reality, it reduces disappointment and frustration that often come along with entitled attitudes.
Self-reflection is essential in this journey. Taking the time to examine your thoughts and behaviors allows you to understand why you feel entitled and how it affects your life. Through continuous personal growth and change, you can develop healthier habits.
Ultimately, by focusing on these practices, you can lead a more balanced and authentic life. This approach not only enhances your relationships but also boosts your overall well-being, leading to a more satisfying and fulfilling life.
