Tim has talked about examples of boundaries in dysfunctional homes and although I believe I can write a novel on this from my own family history and life experiences, I will keep it brief.
As children, boundaries were not an option, we were to do what we were told with no questions or pushback and never challenge authority, as it was viewed as disrespectful even when a child’s needs were not met.
As I got older, my self respect and knowledge of what I was allowed to say no to, got blurred. If someone challenged me or told me I was unworthy of a boundary. I accepted it and diminished my own being. Encompassing all this pain I eventually turned to vengeful acts and became manipulative and shameful towards others.
It was not until I reached recovery that I came to realize my boundaries were what could protect me, build me up, and give me back my value. That boundaries would and should be respected by those who care for you.
To this day, I constantly remind myself I am worth the boundaries I have set and I am allowed to protect my own peace.